Hexed Endeavours by Our Man In The Bronze Age

Like shagging in the back of a Ford Cortina, Hexed Endeavours is a dirty, sweaty 1970s mess. It’s iconic and seedy. But there’s a John Cale LP under your arse and you’re in the car park of a polytechnic.

Our Man In The Bronze Age are a band of riff monsters, but these dudes who read Baudelaire. They are a rock band who wear their smart-ness not dumb-ness. The desert rock sounds may be big and dry but the brains are doing as much work as the riffs.

Our Man In The Bronze Age will make you dance, make you bang your head against the wall, but with enough post-rock pseud mag hi-jinks, and knowing when to hold back and when to go full full throttle.

‘Midnight Lovers’ is a HUGE anthemic slaughter fuck-fest. ‘Rambling’ is where they play with your perceptions with what starts as a piano led ballad slathered with psych undertow turning into a castle crumbling assault over 8 proudly proggy minutes. ‘Bill Odyssey’ starts with a piano and bass soundtrack waltz, like a Western that features a creepy icky spider and one last showdown between the great old ones.

Hexed Endeavours is a long, intense album. Even the softer moments are angled and pokey. This is a trip; physically, mentally and emotionally.

https://ourmaninthebronzeage.com/album/hexed-endeavours

A Wheezing Groaning Sound Podcast ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

A Wheezing Groaning Sound is the only Doctor Who podcast that exists, so it’s a good job this is hilarious romp through the highs and low (mainly lows) of a TV show that was a ratings hit when there was anywhere up to 3 channels, which didn’t start til midday anyway, and even then it was Grandstand, and the occasional Elvis movie.

Taking in such stinkers as Warriors Of The Deep, The Two Doctors and The Happiness Patrol, you will also find a warm love for all things Pertwee.

A Wheezing Groaning Sound stars…

Mr John Rain, a man most distrustful of Peter Davison’s breathing.

Mr Paul Litchfield, a man not allowed within 100 of Turlough.

Mr Tom Neenan, a man who can see the good in everything, with the possible exception of The Armageddon Factor.

Bert, a man for which the driest BBC2 1983 documentary offers a world of seedy possibilities.

Bloodaxe, and his juice of apple.

Sylvester’s McCoy’s arse.

Anthony Ainley’s big book of fannies.

Adric, what does he waaaant?

Musical interludes from Paul Shane.

Sil, Frankenstein’s cream horn himself, cowering behind Martin Jarvis’ orgasm machine.

The plot of Ghost Light.

Many shouts of “Hai”.

Tom Baker, photographed sneaking out of the disabled toilets.

The Hello Goodbye Man.

K9 on death row.

Hartnell atop a statue of his own knob.

And Colin Baker… Who they really do like, honestly.

Subscribe the fuck out of A Wheezing Groaning Sound now!

Want a history pod? Read the ⭐⭐⭐⭐ review of Pontifacts!

Head over to CONTENTS for reviews, interviews, articles and much more!

Podcasts: Pontifacts ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Fry and Bry, two friends gifted with ambition and scope, are embarking on a huge podcast adventure. Deep history analysis has been waiting for the dawn of podcasts: a format to pick over the minutae of the past in gloriously obsessive detail. Hell, Gibbon was born at the wrong time (ironic) . The longer the history podcast series, the better. History podcasting is where the subject can almost be explored in real time, becoming a window to the events, letting the listener to slowly travel that path alongside the people that did it first time around.

Fry and Bry are going deep. They are taking us through the history of the papacy. Pope by pope. Every single pope. And anti pope. They tell you the background, what they got up to, the contemporary religious and political environment, whatever piece of heresy they were bickering over at the point.

Sound dry? Don’t worry. Fry and Bry are fun, easy going hosts. They take their subject very seriously but not what they do or how they do it. For at they end of each episode they rate each pope. They give him marks on his works, his secular impact, his juicy juicy sandaliciousness (if any) then rate his face. Yes, his face. Then if he isn’t a patron Saint (most of the early ones are) they find him something to be patron Saint of, like photo copiers or Toblerones (my suggestions). Then they consider his final score and put him on a spreadsheet.

Pontifacts is an addictive, whimsical, educational podcast. In a good way… I expect to never finish it. This is history… Why should it finish?

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Find Pontifacts on your podcast platform of choice!

Check out this interview with For Screen And Country pod in which Brendan and Jason watch the BFI top 100 movies!

Nosey at the CONTENTS for reviews of psych, electro, soundtrack music, interviews, articles and general weirdness!

Hey Bulldog present ‘People That You Know’

New meets old, like new friends meet old friends with ‘The People You Know’. The swivelling, parping keys are new style Hey Bulldog, arcing gloriously off the back of New Orders meets krautrock meets power ballads future classic ‘No Future Pt 2’, but hold up, the clarity of the riff cuts like a sky knife through a rainbow like the adrenaline powered sharp shooting gunslinger rock of the early Hey Bulldog. This is a return to the raw simplicity of those early days and singles, and Rob’s vocals are calling back to those higher pitched screams and dreams of youth.

But posed against youth is experience, and love and loss. Hey Bulldog are a band at the heart of the Manchester psych scene, and Rob, Matt and Ben adore their position as the beloved scenesters, your friendly neighbourhood rock stars.

This song is about them, about their friends, about the Manchester music scene and about us. Watch the vid, compiled with footage taken by the late, great John Hall. You might be in there. If you’re not don’t worry. Go see Hey Bulldog, you’ll make new friends.

https://heybulldog.bandcamp.com/

And recorded live by John Hall x

No Time To Die Review ⭐⭐

—————————————————- SPOILERS

Not to spoil it for you (the writers have done that), if you don’t want to know what happens in No Time To Die, stop reading!

First Part: A Bond Movie

From the action sequences in Italy through to Bond’s hi-jinks in Cube, this feels more or less like a Bond movie having some fun. More importantly we meet Ana de Armas as Paloma, who steals the show by giving the impression of wanting to be there. Happily starting by spoofing the Bond girl tropes by being ditzy, she then proves herself to be a sensationally kick arse character, who bosses the environment. The movie then commits a cardinal sin by then leaving her behind, in the manner of Jim Bowen showing Bullseye contestants what they could have won, the movie saunters off leaving it’s best new asset behind, in favour of the eternally moody Madeleine. Unforgivably, one gets the impression that Paloma went on to be in a much better movie than the one we’re stuck with.

Second Part: The Silence Of The Blofeld

Look let’s talk about the elephant in the room. What exactly was the point in keeping Blofeld alive at the end of Spectre if they had nothing interesting to do with the character in the follow up? The fact that Spectre is wiped out in No Time To Die is Exhibit A that from start to finish they didn’t have a fucking clue how to handle the crime organisation, like being handed a 2000 piece jigsaw without the picture. Neither Spectre or Blofeld drive the story of No Time To Die, beyond the heavies chasing Bond at the start.

Instead getting Bond visiting Blofeld drags the movie down to a grinding pace while the writers demand we care about this face off. Having Bond inadvertently kill Blofeld is a nice enough twist but wont stand up to rewatching.

Third Part: Metal Gear Bond

Wow – entering a weapons facility on an island via a torpedo thingy! This is so Metal Gear Solid! I’ve waited since, what, 1998 to see a movie version of Metal Gear Solid! Wow, Metal Gear Solid was great. Hey! This sequence of going up the stair well is just like the sequence in Metal Gear Solid! Cool. Hey! The control room looks a lot like the control room in Metal Gear Solid! Metal Gear Solid was so cool. Hang on… this isn’t Metal Gear Solid… what was I supposed to be watching…?

…ah I see, Bond’s going to die. OK so they’re going with the Dark Knight Rises ending then, I see. Hmm… did I get the meter readings? Is this movie ending soon?

If you’re going to kill your hero do it face to face with the villain, death by missile is so impersonal.

And talking of Metal Gear Solid – know what that game had lots of – great villains! Which brings us to…

…Rami Malek! Yeesh talk about phoning it in. He underplays his part to the extent he has the demeanour of someone checking their Barclays app to see if the fee has landed before putting the effort in. It looks like they filmed dress rehearsal. There’s next to nothing for him to work with, but what there was, put some effort in.

It doesn’t help that his character’s motivations aren’t clear: is he just selling the virus from Mission Impossible 2? Or does he want to use the virus from Mission Impossible 2? Moreover, is it nanobots or poison? Pick one, movie.

General thoughts:

I haven’t been a big fan of Craig but he’s carrying this. He might look like Sid James* these days but ol’ blue eyes is doing all the heavy lifting.

So, Bond gets poisoned so he can’t touch Madeleine. In a fit of pique he decides he might as well just die. Just put some gloves on?!

More seriously, in a narrative sense, Q is a fucking wizard. The film is seriously suggesting that Q can build an invisible car but can’t make an antidote?

Oh no a new 007?! After all the hype and botheration about Lashana Lynch as the new 007 she’s totally, utterly ephemeral to the plot, the entire thing would happen without her character. Without getting into the politics, this is a work-place box ticking excercise nothing more, nothing less. If you’re gonna do it, go big or don’t bother.

Obviously Q and Moneypenny have to do some Scooby Doo style off the books digging, again. Desmond Llewelyn may have had hands like trotters* but at least he’d be in the movie once to give the gadgets then fuck off.

Painting of Judi Dench’s M. She’s dead, we get it.

Vesper Lynd blah blah blah. She died five movies ago, Bond might care, but the audience doesn’t.

Apart from creepiness, why was Freddie Mercury wearing that mask at the start?

Very nice of Freddie Mercury to let Madeliene’s daughter go, who just fucks off and meets no peril whatsoever. Imagine if in Aliens Ripley had gone to find Newt only to find the Alien Queen bringing Newt’s mid morning snack and tidying away the toys.

I very much enjoyed the action sequence when they’re in the jungle from Jurassic Park 2.

Killing Felix Leiter is the equivalent of throwing out that toasted sandwich maker you find at the back of your cupboard.

Do we need another “we’re not so different you and I” scene? The answer is no.

‘Cuckoo’ is not the villain catch phrase the writers think it is. It’s hardly “no Mr Bond I expect you to die”

Imagine if, at the end of Goldfinger, Goldfinger is arrested, then dies in prison during Thunderball.

Can you imagine if Natalia had died at the end of Goldeneye, and Bond was still bleating on about it during Die Another Day?

Sigh.

⭐⭐

Where next for Bond? A two hour movie, Bond is given a mission and does it, more action, less continuity, a scenery chomping baddy and a Bond who enjoys being a bull in a China shop. Not hard…

*Gags nicked from the wonderful SMERSHPOD which I cannot recommend highly enough.

Head on over to CONTENTS to find the best in new music – with reviews, articles and interviews!

If you love movie podcasts check out For Screen and Country and our exclusive interview with the hosts!

We also have some movie articles on good movies! Read about Miami Vice, Repo Man, To Live and Die In LA, Bullitt, Concrete Island and the lost Dune movie!

We got the streets suckers – Lucid Dream come out to play

I want The Lucid Dream! I want them alive, if possible. If not, wasted! But I want them. Send the word!

You’re standing right now with delegates from 100 psych bands. And there’s over thousands more. That’s 20,000 hardcore heads. Forty-thousand, counting affiliates, and twenty-thousand more, not organized, some stoned, but generally ready to fight: 60,000 heads and some hipsters! Now, there ain’t but 20,000 police in the whole town. Can you dig it?

Now, here’s the sum total: One gang could run this city! One gang. Nothing would move without us allowing it to happen. We could tax the crime syndicates, the police, because WE got the streets, suckers! Can you dig it? Can you dig it???

The number one gang of the psych scene are the #psychtraitors The Lucid Dream aka the rampant Road warriors of motorik, the Digby’s dick of dub, the Titans of techno and the Tongs of Trance.

All right now, for all you boppers out there in the big city, all you street people with an ear for the action, I’ve been asked to relay a request from the Grammercy Riffs. It’s a special for the Lucid Dream, that real live bunch from Carlisle, and I do mean the Lucid Dream. Here’s a hit with them in mind.

‘Coalescence’ cruises like a hundred NY subway trains, jumping the turnstiles, dressed and ready for action. It sounds like civilisation spaffing it’s pants.

The Lucid Dream, sick of running from these wimps, blast off with ‘CHI-03’ a thrilling reduction of dance music to it’s vital core, and then amplifies minimalism to the max. Say goodbye to those lousy skinhead fucks.

‘Leave Me In The Dark’ is arguably the peak of The Deep End. Everything The Lucid Dream do is one continuous story and roots of past albums come together, the groovy swirling dub, the furious automatic language, the delirious cloud 9 dance. Iconic and for the ages. Dub fucks techno, and techno likes it.

Lucid Dream come out to plaaaa-ay.

‘High and Wild’. Perfect panorama of a long journey that’s half ocean, half fairground. A moment of ripose after the battles, and showing scars of what has passed. A reflection of what was sought and what has been won. A view out into the sea and at home. One eye on the past and one eye on the future. Day by day…

You Lucid Dream are good, real good

The best

https://theluciddream.bandcamp.com/album/the-deep-end

Head to the CONTENTS page for the best in new music!

1st listen excitement – Silver Ladders by Mary Lattimore

It can be hard to be a reviewer at times as you have to convey an emotion when you first hear an album, you have this rush and a desire to stand up on your blog soap box and say:

“Hey everyone! Listen to this! This is like some harp psychedelic music! It’s got drone and soundtrack music going on, but totally folk-y! It’s John Cale level beautiful, or Durutti Column! It’s stark and intricate at the same time! It sounds fresh and timeless! It’s like drone-y and poetic. Mary Lattimore is a harpist genius and she’s made this album with Neil Halstead from Slowdive! The guitar is like Western at times, you gotta hear ‘Til A Mermaid Drags You Under’! And there’s snyth-y washes, like 80s movies! But it’s all about the sea which you totally get! And the harp! Don’t forget the harp! It’s so lovely! It’s being by the sea, it’s memories of youth, it’s worlds to step into! It’s too much to get your head around! Listen to it!”

– Me, just then, 2021

And that’s all I got! So not a review, an expression of the urge to stop people and say… just listen to Mary Lattimore!

And buy it here!

https://ghostly.com/products/silver-ladders

https://marylattimoreharpist.bandcamp.com/album/silver-ladders

L’Emission by Atelier Radiofonico

L’Emission by Atelier Radiofonico is a new album from the Portugese label Prisma Sonora. Tagging itself as electronic, experimental, library music and future jazz (amongst others) it should appeal to fans of The Heartwood Institute and those original pioneers of early electro and TV music.

The album represents two worlds at once. One on the one hand it celebrates TV show theme tunes and the artificial nature of TV. On the flip side it studiously presents sound recordings of the worlds presented within those TV shows. It accepts that TV is fake, then treats it as real.

‘Telesom’ has glitchy twitches which bely the 1970s sounds on offer, but reinforces the trick of seeing behind the image, but enjoying the image too. Sound and vision are dependent on each other, and the viewer completes the loop.

L’Emission manages to be retro electronica, but operated with the ethos of jazz and field recordings, ‘Studio Murder’ is a prime example of some of the laid back vibes on display, while ‘Portapak’ is interjected by The Ipcress File’s brainwashing noises.

For a world where computers still work on reel to reel tape machines…

But seeing as image is equally important as sound, the cover art of the cassette (tape in motion) tells you everything you need to know about the music within.

https://prismasonorarecords.bandcamp.com/album/l-mission

The Maitlands, Diving In The Shallow End

The Maitlands are less of a band, more like the axles on Roy Schneider’s truck in Sorceror. In the time since the release of ‘Diving In The Shallow End’ another Mait has ended up tossed onto the pile of Maits we used to know; the hatchet buried, too much daunted in Derker, no more kisses for the masses.

But hey life goes on and The Maitlands go on. As always, through the jungle paths in a wagon full of TNT. The power, the unpredictable engine, the loose grip. The shit yer pants thrill ride.

‘Diving In The Shallow End’ is a storm of noise, but elegant noise at that. It was thought The Maitlands would never do “psych” but this be psych indeed, heavy psych for heads no less. Reminiscent to these ears of the arid Spaghetti Western psych of Lola Colt. But having condescended to the masses and given them their bread and fishes, The Maits have tricked the lot with an underlying elan, danger and melancholy in that tale of pushers. It’s got a simple, resonating chorus that spins from the whirlpool like the emergence of Arronax from the debris of the Nautilus.

The Maits are releasing single after single like shot after shot. They’re drunk behind the wheel and no everyone gets out alive, and that’s the way they like it.

https://themaitlands1.bandcamp.com/track/diving-in-at-the-shallow-end

Head over to the CONTENTS for reviews, interviews and articles on the best in new music!

Elsewhere on colourhorizon – if you like The Maitlands check out Total Victory!

Gutter gazing: Miscellen present Blue Ruin

The best thing to say about Miscellen is that they sound like drug deals in the movie version of Miami Vice. Here at Colourhorizon we worship on the altar of Michael Mann and Blue Ruin looks, sounds and feels like a jagged edged soundtrack to a world of skinheads dealing meth in LA. Cops hide, clad in bullet proof vests, their sunglasses hiding their dead-behind-the eyes stares. Police helicopters buzz in the distance. The only light in the dark is car headlights and neon. It’s not just Miami Vice though it’s any half decent techno thriller from the 90s onward.

It’s metal-ish but we don’t listen to a lot of metal at colourhorizon so I’ll instead say they’re scuzzy and groovy like Morphine. Guitars screech scrap yard rock n roll like Sonic Youth. Songs are downbeat and icky. Songs are obnoxious. Songs are teenage splurts of gutter gazing. Gothic noir? Yeah that covers it.

‘EDIAC’ is arguably the stand out with an anthemic rock n roll song shoved inside a washing machine and the washing machine shoved down the stairs. Or ‘Happy Ending’ which fires into a crisp drum driven dance between sluggish slow patches as chemical confluences come, like shots between pints.

Production is crisp and well mixed, vocal samples pepper the tunes.

Blue Ruin. it’s blue and it’s a ruin.

If you want an album to put on during your next speed boat ride to pick up cocaine and stop for a mojito, here you go.

https://miscellen.bandcamp.com/album/blue-ruin